Thoughts

I had every intention to keep up my blog here but the time has passed incredibly quickly. It's hard to believe that I've been here for more than four months, which means I only have about two and a half months left! I could write about so many things I don't even know where to start. What is it like to be an au pair in France? It's wonderful and incredibly difficult at the same time. I love that I'm here but I can't say I love every minute of it. When you live in a family, you get to experience things in a way that you never would if you were alone or living with friends but are also in the midst of all their problems and it can be hard not to be affected by them. I think it's a great way to experience another culture and to see what it's like to live in a French family but, I have to say, I really do miss my independence, especially after living on my own/with friends. And it's not like a 9-5 job where you know your hours and once you clock out you're done. Of course, it's different in every household but I've found Saturdays (like today) to be the most difficult. It's not that I work so much but that I never know exactly when I'm needed and when I'm free. It can be incredibly frustrating because I might have nothing to do but I can't actually do anything because I might need to be with the kids in an hour or bring one of them to or from an activity. If you know me well, you know I'm not so good at being patient and I don't really like sitting around doing nothing. Recently, I've really been trying to change my perspective and take advantage of the time I have to write my blog, journal, read, etc., etc. But it's still a struggle, especially when there are waves I could be surfing...


I don't want to complain, though, because I do actually get a lot of time to enjoy France. In the beginning, I thought I would be traveling practically every weekend and really seeing France but in reality I haven't done too much of that. I've seen some of the nearby cities - Rennes, Vannes, Lorient, Quimper - but my only full day off is Sunday and, in France, everything is closed on Sunday and really, as nice as French cities are, I'd rather spend time with friends or go surfing or do something outdoors than spend money to drive to city only to be able to walk around, eat, and spend more money.  I would really like to see a bit more but I'm also quite content to spend my time surfing, and doing things around here. I feel like I'm more addicted to surfing than ever since coming here. I check the surf reports every day just hoping that there will be waves and I will do just about anything to make time for a session if I know there are waves, even if it means waking up at 6am to go before the day starts. I've made friends with some other au pairs here and one of them, Anne, just happens to be a surfer (and an equestrian!) like me so we go surfing together every chance we can get. Au pairing might seem like an easy job but, mentally and emotionally it isn't and I don't think I could do it without the support of friends and the escape of surfing (or running if I can't surf ;) ).

Surfing with Anne <3

I wouldn't give up this experience or this family though. I really like being in France and I really like the family. I can't imaging being anywhere else right now and I know being here is teaching me things and I hope that I will have a positive impact on this family as well. I know that I am here for a reason and I don't want to waste my time here in wishing for things to change.

Exploring the coast on an evening run