Sunday, October 16, 2016

The In-between

I've been home for more than a month now with no set plans to leave again and it's hard. I don't want to seem ungrateful that I have a place to come home to, because I am SO grateful that I can come back and stay whenever I want and my gracious parents will always take me in, but after one month I'm restless. It is wonderful to see my family and friends again and to catch up with the amazing people that I miss so much when I'm away but I can't help feeling a little bit stuck here. I like doing new things and seeing new places and, honestly, living the life of a traveler keeps me from overthinking. When I'm living in another country in an environment that I've chosen, I am rarely bored and usually doing things that I want to do. When I'm here, I have more time to myself and less choice over my job since I have to take what I can find around here. That leaves more more time to think about everything and anything and worry about the future or miss the past and wish I was somewhere other than here and doing something other than what I'm doing. It's hard to stay positive even though I know I have so much to be thankful for.

The ocean <3

I love fall days in New England

I'm currently working two jobs, as a server at a Thai restaurant Friday and Saturday nights, and as a Shift Supervisor (although my title actually technically just became Store Manager) at a burger place and, needless to say, it's not exactly my dream job. I'm sure there are plenty of people in a similar situation but I find myself wondering how I ended with a college degree and two-page resume, working at a burger joint. I guess you could say I'm having a bit of a quarter-life crisis. I realize that I chose a path of less security when I decided to travel and I don't regret traveling for one second but I guess it can't always be glamorous... I kind of thought I'd come home and find a job as a biologist or field researcher or something along those lines right away and I'd settle in and spend some time around here. But apparently God has other plans for me. I don't know what they are yet but I'm excited to find out! In the meantime, I'm going to be thankful for the people I have here, a place to live, a job, the car that I just bought, the New England fall I get to enjoy for the first time in several years, the surfing, a horse to ride, and many other things that I don't have everywhere!
No waves today but the surf is pretty good some days!


  1. Mindfulness helps! Live in the moment as much as you can. I like having you in MY present. :) Stay strong, wait to hear His voice, press on when you are led to, Love you always! M